The Free-ebook Project

Let’s experiment. I’m going to write, and hopefully someone’s going to read. I’ll publish a bit at a time, on this blog, of a book which I’ll craft one blog post at a time. No outlines; barely an idea of what it’s about; little researching. Only me entering what I can only call a transandental state to see things I can’t dream, know things that aren’t true, and hopefully entertain someone along the way.

John Cheever once said, and I paraphrase (I think): I may be bad at writing, but I’m worse at everything else. One chapter at a time, from the nothingness in my head.


This is a story of two wars, one long, one forever. This is the tale of two men, one strong, one trying to be. This story is not today, but reaches just beyond tomorrow to a barely discernible future of what may be, but probably won’t.

It is a terrible and to some, unbearable truth, that living beings, who have will and intelligence will kill in order to remain themselves alive. Some will kill for baser reasons. And some will kill–and even die–for the lives of others.

Then there are those who fall into the ever-widening gray chasms of modern philosophy. They fight because it is all they know. They fight because to live without danger and without the ultimate distractions of battle would  allow them enough time to sink into nihilism. So they choose to be near death as much as possible, and numb themselves with the smell of burning cordite, the screams of the dying and the chills that crawl along spines when they and their comrades conquer the enemy,  defend the weak, or detonate 50 lbs. of C-6, just to see how big a boom it can make.  

Chapter 1

He press-checked the pistol’s chamber to make sure it was empty. It was. He sat hunched, on the edge of his bed, wearing briefs and a white tank-top. The sheets lay mounded in the middle of the mattress. The overhead fan spun and hummed as if trying to call to him, to wake him from a dream. He tapped his kneecap with the butt of the pistol to make sure he was indeed awake. He was.

Angela would not be home for a couple of hours, at least. He looked at the ceiling, considering the damage he would, or could do there, from where he sat. His wife would have to live in this house after he was gone, and she’d lay in this bed and stare at a ceiling, maybe as another man made love to her. The hole made by his .45 caliber pistol would be plastered over, but the subtle difference in shading would be seen. She’s remember the husband that’d left her a widow, because he was so weak. This world had been too much for him, even though he hadn’t experienced a spoonful of its horrors, compared to some of the other men that he worked with. There were no excuses for this weak husband. Women only liked weak puppies and weak children. Weak spouses meant a lack of security,  and security was one of the fundamental needs of every human being.

His upper body began to rock a bit, though David didn’t notice. He barely noticed when the barrel of the gun entered his mouth. Only the blued metal clicking against his incisors made him remember what this little test-run was about.

To be continued…



2 Responses to “The Free-ebook Project”

  1. 1 Mike Rozos
    January 21, 2009 at 1:07 am

    How interesting for you to invoke the name of Cheever. I don’t know that you two really had anything in common, but the similarities are striking on paper.

    I will continue to check up on the “Empty Head Chronicles”!

    Good so far…

  2. January 21, 2009 at 7:54 am

    Are you familiar with the Wapshot Chronicals?

    I suspect Cheever and I probably have more in common than most would think.I read his biography. Of course, he’s dead, and I’m alive, so any similarities end there.

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