11
Jan
09

Coffee gone wild…

Yesterday, I was walking through a German store with my friend, Annette. I wanted to buy some hiking boots or shoes for my future trips to Austria or Italy.

We crested the top of the escalator and gleaming before me was a coffee maker of astounding capacities.

Or so I’d assumed after seeing the listed price of 1800 Euros (About $2000). I blinked hard and regarded, again, the price tag.

“What’s this thing cost?” I asked Annette.

“Just what it says, right there”,  she said, as if asking if I were blind.

“Does it make sparks fly out of my ass?” I was really interested, now. “Does gold fall out of the spout? Naked women, maybe?”

“No, it makes coffee.”

Surely, the well-regarded German engineers had put something quite special on this machine for it to cost so much. I admit, it had buttons and spouts and all kinds of gadgetry sprouting from its cold, steel facing. But there must be something else, I thought.

Nope. Just coffee. Sure, I’d sell my left arm for a hot cup of Sparky Juice, but I don’t think my arm is worth $2000. Maybe $1500…

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4 Responses to “Coffee gone wild…”


  1. 1 Mason
    January 12, 2009 at 8:27 am

    I’m in the DEP program, but I haven’t shipped yet, and I need to make money somehow, so I work at Starbucks. The cheapest coffee machine we sell is $200, and to be perfectly honest, I think that’s fucking insane. There’s really no difference between those and something you’ll find for $5 at a garage sale. And trust me, I know the ins and outs of this crap.

  2. 2 Mike Rozos
    January 13, 2009 at 2:59 am

    I had a $14 Mr. Coffee that lasted me 8 years. The I bought the $20 version of the same machine. These two machines brew better than several of my friends’ machines in the, are you ready:

    $400-1700 price range!

    I won’t name names, because the coffee actually tasted worse than my $20 set.

  3. 3 kernunos
    January 14, 2009 at 3:41 am

    Looks like there might be money in smuggling non-E.P.A. approved coffee machines to the states. I’m sure that $2000.00 model wouldn’t pass emissions.

  4. January 14, 2009 at 10:48 am

    Actually–I think it will pass emissions. That’s why it’s so expensive. Without an emissions filter, it probably costs $19.95.


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