13
Apr
08

See–I am willing to negotiate with terrorists–if they cook me steak…

 

See–I can get along too.

In an effort to celebrate and imitate Jimmy Carter’s recent meet-up with Hamas, and fearing the label which many in the blogosphere may place on me, I have made a concerted effort to see the good in all people.

At the Hayfield Lane Peace Accord, well-know Mujaheddin leader, Michael Rozos and I agreed to sign a peace treaty laying out plans for a ceasefire in Greer, South Carolina.

In exchange for a well-cooked New York Strip steak, I agreed not to hit his BMW M-3 with a Mk-83 JDAM bomb. It should be noted that his M-3 has no emissions control. Rozos is likely to find that left-wing enviro-nazis will not be as ready to negotiate as I was. ELF anyone?

To the chagrin of many, Rozos’ father drives a Prius, and his mother was married to a cousin of Libyan dictator, Muammar Gadaffi….

Yup–it’s true.

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23 Responses to “See–I am willing to negotiate with terrorists–if they cook me steak…”


  1. 1 How You Doin Blondie
    April 13, 2008 at 7:44 pm

    Nice picture. Fabulous eye candy. Very subtle flexing of the muscles too, I might add.

    Sorry. I’ll try be more political-oriented next time. 😉

  2. April 13, 2008 at 7:51 pm

    I shake his hand now, long enough to get sympathy of left (those chicks are easy) then I keel heem!

    This comment is filed under: Democrat, left wing, environmentalist, Arab, Muslim, Islam, Long Island, Socialite, Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Vermont, Ivy League Schools Funded by Big Industry to Destroy Big Industry, Attention Physicians and Captains of Industry: Your kids secretly resent you, but can’t say it to your face because your cash buys their weed and flat!

  3. April 13, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    It’s important for a leader to appear strong. Rozos had to know that if he messed up my steak, I was capable of giving him a Swirly, an Indian Sunburn, or perhaps even an Atomic Wedgie.

  4. 4 How You Doin Blondie
    April 13, 2008 at 8:00 pm

    How cute: horseplay of the intellectuals. Bonus points for being easy on the eyes.

  5. April 13, 2008 at 8:08 pm

    Photography ©2008 Alexander Rozos Studios, Inc., protected by child labor laws as enacted by numerous political groups aimed at allowing any kid (as long as he meets sufficiently minority requirements, like mine) to incorporate and make money while being featured on NPR as some sort of superhero, in spite of using parents’ media connections to gain notoriety.

    *Blonde kids not eligible, sorry.

    **Child may grow up to resent parent if overindulged.

    ***Special thanks to thousands of liberal groups who make it easy for people like me to steal your market share by looking the way you envision the disadvantaged to look.

  6. 6 How You Doin Blondie
    April 13, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    And here I thought Doug had quite the axe to grind…now I see he’s downright genial by comparison 😉

  7. April 13, 2008 at 8:23 pm

    See what a moderate I am?

  8. April 13, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    Evil Magus American,

    I see you have blonde cousin who posts on your worthless blog. Since we cannot get Candace Bushnell, friend of all Arab playboys, to post here, I show open appreciation for this woman who refuses to cover her head.

    It is OK, we often tolerate this type while hanging out in Hamptons. We must pollute ourselves to remind ourselves what we fight for. Or fight against. I have hard time remembering what we are for and against because your own liberal faction indulges us so.

    Still, Magus, we must keel you. You do not invite us to your flat. You do not buy gas for our cars, like American womans. You are bad man.

    *The market price for Kalashnikov assault rifles in third world countries is not affected by this post.

    **Blonde woman should still cover her head.

  9. 9 How You Doin Blondie
    April 13, 2008 at 8:59 pm

    You know Doug, this Rozos character is beginning to make you look like a Mouseketeer. You’re going to need to step your game up if you want to retain any credibility as a neo-fascist.

    *Blonde woman would like to say that she is very impressed at how convincingly a man who owns an M3 can feign disgust with infidels.
    **Blonde woman would also like to give the knife a quarter turn by adding that she fuels her cars almost exclusively at Lukoil.

  10. April 13, 2008 at 9:14 pm

    Rozos has been drinking Heineken today, in stark violation of Sharia Law.

    Obviously, his feigned disgust is merely jealousy, and when he can partake of Western pleasure, between periods of working on his purple satin/Copper Azide exploding vest, he spends his time adding concubines to his harem and sipping fine hops from my own native land–Holland.

    Perhaps the liberals are correct. I can take down my enemies with women and drink….

  11. 11 How You Doin Blondie
    April 13, 2008 at 9:44 pm

    You and Frack are quite the tag team. A lesser person probably would’ve taken their ball and gone home by now. It’s a good thing excessively dry wit is a turn on (although I have commenced a slow burn over that Candace Bushnell jab).

    But just between the two of us, I think you could eclipse Rozos in contemptuous satire if you really put your mind to it 😉

  12. April 13, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    “Can’t we just do it the regular way?”

    -The Four Blondes

    I wouldn’t normally break so easily, but it’s hard to be cruel with a one woman audience.

    Doug,

    Tell her what a nice guy I am! The other 1.87% of the time…

  13. 13 How You Doin Blondie
    April 14, 2008 at 4:54 am

    Oooo, turning up the fire?

    Unfortunately villain, your evil plan has backfired as you have just revealed that you read “The Four Blondes.” Picture it as landing on “lose a turn” in the quest for martyrdom.

    Score 1 for Team America.

  14. April 14, 2008 at 2:13 pm

    I caught him reading it when he should have been facing Mecca.

    Team America always wins. He knows it. He hates it.

    A Fatwa is probably being issued for me at this very moment. Good.
    I’ve “made it.” https://magus71.wordpress.com/2007/08/17/how-will-i-know-when-ive-made-it/

    More steak please.

  15. April 14, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    I was going to say it’s too bad that poor Blondie is the only one posting here, but Blondie, you’ve just reinforced what we’ve always known:

    There’s little appeal to a guy who’s in touch with his feminine side, unless he’s gay.

    Nice to see someone on Magus’s blog who can take some punishment. There aren’t many! 1 bonus point for Blondie.

    I confess to reading that book in 1999, but I’m still a misogynist asshole.

  16. 16 How You Doin Blondie
    April 14, 2008 at 9:36 pm

    I feel like I’ve just taken part in some sort of male rite-of-passage ceremony…and it didn’t even involve sex.

    I’ve already given Doug the greenlight – and now you also, Rozos, are permitted to refer to me by my Christian name, Suzie.

  17. April 14, 2008 at 10:13 pm

    Welcome to the club. Grab a beer, pee standing up, and don’t ever, ever let us catch you watching Oprah.

  18. April 15, 2008 at 3:34 pm

    I hope Suzie is short for Susan. If the legal name’s “Suzin” you’re off the team!

    Are you an NDK*, like us?

    *Non-Doctor’s Kid

  19. 19 How You Doin Blondie
    April 15, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    Suzie is short for Suzanne.

    My father teaches high school physics; my mother is an art teaher. No doctors here.

    Am I still allowed to play with you guys? 😉

  20. April 15, 2008 at 4:10 pm

    High School teachers are fine; because they need to deal with idiots just out of Junior High, they still know how to kick ass. If they taught at a college, you’d be on a six month probationary period.

    Have another beer and don’t forget to leave the toilet seat up…

  21. 21 How You Doin Blondie
    April 15, 2008 at 6:38 pm

    *Triple Bonus Points: my father, my uncle, my paternal grandfather, and my maternal grandfather are US Army, Marine Corps, and Air Force veterans [respectively].

    I’ll have a Yeungling, please.

  22. November 1, 2008 at 11:31 pm

    I guess this is a stupid question, but I saw another post where you were in the CoffeeUnderground downtown – then looking at this post…. are you in SC? I’ve been reading you for a while and it was only today that I noticed the several SC references. I just moved to Greenville and like it so far – then thought it’d be cool if one of my favorite bloggers lived here too.

  23. November 2, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    Bill,

    I appreciate the fact that you keep up on my blog. Yes, I was living in Greenville for a while, right before I went to Basic Training. I’ll be back there for a couple of weeks starting next week. I love Greenville; it’s probably the best place I’ve ever lived. Great people, great restaurants, everything.


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